I want to thank Lou Farrell from Mentriz for writing this great article on being a nicer person and how that affects mental health.
It should be simple to be nice to others, but it is not as easy as it sounds. Other people can be a little unpredictable, and your reaction may be gut-centered, and suddenly you find yourself reacting to them rather than being empathetic with them.
So how can you be a nicer person and protect your mental health at the same time? I mean, you don’t want to become a doormat; you want to be friendly and assertive at the same time. Otherwise, people will walk all over you, and you don’t want to be sickly sweet and seem disingenuous, so where is the balance.
I have ten ways you can be a nicer person and how you can still maintain your self-identity and not be drawn to the path of being a doormat.
How To Be A Nicer Person
Start With Yourself
Being a nicer person starts with being nice yourself; you need to compliment yourself on achievements or your style and looks. If you can’t be nice to yourself, then how can you be nice to others. It increases your self-esteem and boosts your confidence. When you are pleasant to yourself, it will spread to other people; you will be genuinely happy to be nice.
Understand Other People
We all have our problems, and sometimes people wear these problems on their sleeves, and others keep them pent-up. Learning to understand and behave positively helps others know you care about them and that their issues are valid and not all about you. As humans, we tend to be selfish and think it is only our problems which matter, but by us all doing this, we end up with a selfish world. So be there for people, and hopefully, by being nicer, they will be there for others.
Be On Time
Don’t leave others waiting around for you. This shows a sign of disrespect and is not a nice thing to do. Being punctual suggests that the other person’s time is essential, and therefore, you are respectful. Continuously running late shows, you are more concerned with your well-being than the other person; being a nicer person is about respecting the other person you are due to meet.
Own Up To Your Own Mistakes
Stop blaming other people for the mistakes and problems within your life. Admittedly, people can cause your problems, but how you deal with them is the primary concern. You stop the blame game by addressing your issues, which means you are nicer to others. Accept that there are things that need to change, and you are responsible for this; in doing so, you will free up your mind to stop blaming and start doing.
Pay It Forward
You may or may not have heard of the term, but paying it forward means that if someone does you a good deed, you go out of your way to ensure that good deed is passed onto other people. There is a lot to be said about paying it forward; imagine if we all did this, how great would the world be. Accepting the good deed you have received and then being determined to help another shows you respect the person who initially gave, and you respect the person who will benefit in the long run.
We all do it, even if it is quietly in our minds, we become critical of others and what they do, and for those of us who voice this opinion, it can reduce the other person’s self-esteem and ruin their day. If you’ve got something to say and it in no way helps the situation keep it to yourself. Sometimes criticism is needed to grow, but if the comment is purely vindictive, keep it to yourself; it will do you no favors or the other person. It will also affect your mental health seeing another person suffer.
Let Go Of Anger
Anger can ruin a person, so letting go of it is of paramount importance. Harboring angry thoughts can even affect us physically in terms of stress and our heart. So being anger-free is being nice to other people. But it is easier said than done, and you need to work out ways of releasing anger. I find the best way to release anger is through journaling. Writing down all my thoughts, burning the said paperwork, and shredding them up into tiny shreds of paper will help you send the anger out into the ether and not internalize it anymore, and this will be projected in your demeanor towards other people.
Commit To Random Acts Of Kindness
Kindness is often overlooked as we all hustle and bustle about in the world, but committing to being actively kind to people can work wonders for your mental health. Being a nicer person starts with yourself and avoiding negative comments you may make about yourself. Then you can transfer this kindness to others by helping them out, such s volunteering, and do you know what? Helping others out face to face increases the hormone oxytocin, which is the love chemical, so that you will feel good.
Smile A Lot
People respond well to a smile, and they also respond well to someone happy in themselves. So it would help if you smiled more often as it creates a pleasant feeling for others to see, and it will also make you feel better. I don’t mean fake it till you make it smile, people will see straight through this, but I mean the smile which comes from inside, you can’t fake this, and by being a nicer person to yourself, you will have more of these smiles in the storage room of your heart.
Forgiving others is not easy, but forgiveness frees you, which is good for your mental health. By holding onto negative thoughts and constant reminders of negative thoughts is not being nice to yourself. You can still forgive but not condone the action against you. Try saying the mantra, “I forgive you, and you are now released.” It is about releasing the person from your heart which is where you want to store good thoughts and feelings. Removing the other person frees you to be kinder to yourself, which means you will be nicer to others.
I hope the above ten tips help you work towards becoming a nicer person, they will help your mental health too, and in our current climate, anything which can do that is worth a shot.
Peace and Blessings,
Holistic Mental Health Coach & Blogger
Lou Farrell is a holistic mental health coach and mental health blog writer. She has a website dedicated to mental health issues and wellness, covering meditation to mental illness. She writes from the perspective of experiencing mental health problems and shares her knowledge to help others. You can find her on her website, Twitter and Pinterest.