10 Easy Tips For Dealing With Grief

Are you struggling with grief? Read these ten tips for managing grief, overcoming difficult moments, and overcoming depression. 

Note: I am not a mental health professional. The information presented in this article should not be used for self-diagnosis or to replace a medical diagnosis from a mental health professional or your primary care physician. The following information is for educational purposes only.

Losing a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences. When my father passed away, it felt like a part of me went with him. I didn’t know how to feel, act, or grieve his death.

When you’re navigating grief and symptoms of depression, going through your daily routines may feel impossible. But they’re not. Through my grieving journey and depression episodes, I learned coping mechanisms and skills that helped me get through the worst part. 

Although I’m still grieving his death, I feel like I got through the worst parts, thanks to some of the things I did to help alleviate it. So, today, I’m sharing ten easy tips for dealing with grief, sadness, and symptoms of depression after the death of someone you love.

Living with constant depression, anxiety, angst, and mixed emotions can be difficult for many people to handle. If your loved one has suicidal thoughts or plans to harm themselves, please call for immediate help.

Tips For Managing Grief & Depression

Allow Yourself To Feel Your Emotions

My first emotions were anger, sadness, and disbelief when Pop passed. I refused to accept my new reality, and it caused harm. I didn’t want to admit I was grieving because it made his death more real. But, as time passed, I eventually let go of these feelings, which helped me understand his death. 

Grief, sadness, confusion, and anger are natural emotions in response to the death of someone you hold dear. Grieving this loss and allowing yourself to feel all your feelings helps to free up any negative pent-up energy you may have. It also enables you to process death and learn how to express your sadness. In a way, it can create peace if done correctly.

Honor & Celebrate Your Loved One’s Life

You don’t have to attend a funeral or speak a eulogy to honor the dead. After holding a cremation service, my mother bought all of us these gorgeous silver pendants with a photo of us with him. It’s a beautiful way to honor his legacy and a memento we can carry. 

The most challenging part of the grieving process is constantly remembering them and the memories they left behind. An essential part of healing is remembering and talking about your loved one. There are many positive ways you can go about doing this:

• Creating a new family tradition in their name
• Holding a funeral/cremation service
• Hosting a memorial party or celebration of life event
• Creating a scholarship or financial assistance in their honor
• Doing something they used to love 

Do Something Nice For Yourself

Grief can sometimes be so intense that you forget to care for yourself. However, making time for yourself during these difficult times is more important. I’m not saying to create an extravagant self-care day. As lovely as that sounds, I know it’s the last thing you want to do. So, instead, doing something nice and practicing self-care can be as simple as journaling daily, going for a 20-minute walk, or buying yourself a bouquet of colorful roses. 

When I was at my lowest, I started going to the gym more and making time for creative arts. At the gym, I focused on strength exercises that helped me to feel physically and mentally sound. Outside the gym, I found joy in coloring books, makeup, and DIY organization. 

Regardless of the situation, it would be best to make time for yourself, even when sad. Doing so will help you to stay on top of your health and overall well-being. 

Do Not Blame Yourself For Their Passing

The biggest mistake you can make throughout the grieving process is self-blame or harm. You cannot control death, the time of death, or how a person dies. Blaming yourself for their passing will only make you and the people around you feel incredibly miserable. It’s tempting to think about everything you could have or should have done prior when someone passes. But it’s too late. Dwelling on those pesky ‘what ifs’ will only cause you more mental harm and depression. 

Instead, think about the precious memories you share and the lessons they’ve left behind. Also, find solace in knowing you did everything possible to be there for them while they were alive. This more optimistic attitude will make it easier to move on without guilt. 

Be Patient With Yourself

Sometimes, people think that grieving has a time frame. Many will rush through it to return to their regular routines. However, speeding the process only makes it harder for you to function adequately in your day-to-day life. When Pop first died, I had just started at my new office on campus. I felt horrible about having to call out within my first week. I tried to force myself to work remotely and attend meetings. However, due to the chaos in my background, I could not focus on the task.

I’m thankful my supervisor understood and told me not to feel bad. She eventually convinced me to take the rest of the week off. Patience and letting yourself grieve is the only way you can get through it, especially during the early days. Accept and honor your feelings and trust in the people around you. 

Move Your Body

There’s a reason why so many people enjoy using physical activity for mental health. Unfortunately, little scientific research has found a direct correlation to how exercise affects your psychological health. However, research suggests that people suffering from depression or anxiety could benefit from it. Here is a quote from John S. Raglin, who wrote a peer-reviewed article on exercise and mental health in the June 1990 edition of Sports Med. 

He suggests that people with mental health disorders, prolonged sadness, or extreme grief can use aerobic exercises to help their brain circulate serotonin and other chemicals needed for teaching the brain to relax and calm down. Some of these exercises include running, walking, and biking. So, the next time you feel upset or overly emotional about this death, take yourself to the local gym or walk in the neighborhood. It might be precisely what you need to feel better briefly. 

Reach Out To Your Support System

You are not alone. People in your life and within your support system want to be there for you. But you have to trust them with your heart and emotions. Death will leave you vulnerable and emotionally exposed, making it easy to build a wall and shut others out. However, it would be best if you were letting them in. Open up to the people you trust most, and let them show you how much they love and care about you. 

If all else fails, you can also seek professional help from a therapist, guidance counselor, or priest. These people are trained within their fields to provide emotional guidance to those seeking it. So, feel free to do so, and remember that feeling emotional is okay.

“In the case of long term exercise programmes, improvements in the mental health of ‘normal’ individuals are either modest in magnitude or do not occur, whereas the changes for those with elevated anxiety or depression are more pronounced…Hence, for healthy individuals the principal psychological benefit of exercise may be that of prevention, whereas in those suffering from mild to moderate emotional illness exercise may function as a means of treatment.”

John S. Raglin 1990

Try To Maintain A Healthy Routine

It’s easy to lose yourself when grieving. For about two months, I consistently ate entire family packs of Oreos, doubled down on ice cream, and gave 0 crap about my health. The way I saw it, I was allowed to do this since I was depressed. But then I noticed changes in my health that began to concern me. My chronic migraines worsened, I gained weight, and my face was riddled with acne. 

As hard as it is, you must try to maintain a healthy routine. Notice that I used the word try. As I said, you must be patient with yourself and your health. You cannot spend every waking moment thinking about calorie intake, healthy meals, yoga, or remembering self-care. You already have a lot on your plate. So instead, take little steps to live healthily, such as:

• Adding greens to your meals and snacks
• Drinking plenty of water
• Avoiding processed foods and high-sugars when possible
• Going outside at least once a day for 30 minutes to an hour
• Doing simple exercises throughout the day, such as stretching or yoga 

Don’t Over Exert Yourself

There is so much you can do within 24 hours. Of course, there’s a lot to do when someone passes. But you cannot overwork yourself because of it. Overworking yourself will only lead to mistakes, carelessness, and annoyance. Even in times of chaos, there are still ways you can break down the tasks at hand to make life easier for you. 

For example, you can divide the tasks with your family, consult an organizer, buy a planner, or complete each task one day at a time. Whether it’s a funeral or memorializing them, you have no reason to break down because of it.

Take It One Day At A Time

Grieving is a never-ending process. It goes on for years and years. Something or someone always reminds you of the departed loved one. The best and most important thing for you is to take it one day at a time. You cannot panic about the future or your next steps every day. Instead, worry about how you’ll get through today. 

Is There A Proper Way To Grieve?

At first, I wondered if I was grieving wrong. I loved Pop with all my heart, and it felt like I was recovering or bouncing back too fast at times. I also felt like I didn’t know how to grieve appropriately. But, I soon realized that there is no right way to grieve. Everyone processes death differently, and it’s essential to recognize that. Just because you don’t see someone crying daily doesn’t mean they’re not upset behind closed doors.

You’ll never honestly know what another person is going through after losing someone. Death changes people and their lives. But it takes time for it to take hold. So please don’t assume someone has gotten over it simply because they seem okay. Instead, remember that they’re grieving differently than how you would. 

Final Thoughts

Thank you to everyone within the Riyah Speaks community who supported me and spoke kindly during this difficult time. It’s greatly appreciated. I wanted to come back with a post on grieving because it’s the most relevant to what’s happening in my personal life. Although I have returned to work and am functioning in my daily routine, there are times when I don’t feel okay. 

For a while, I lost a lot of motivation to continue with Riyah Speaks because of his passing. But, over the last two months, I’ve learned much about death and grieving. So, I want to use his passing to motivate me to do what I love most: helping others. 

This article can guide you if you’ve recently lost someone and are struggling. The above tips are not guaranteed to help you overcome grief and sadness. However, they are tools you can use to make your daily life easier during this challenging time. 

What are some things you do or did when going through grief? How do you take care of yourself during challenging times? Let me know in the comments.